7 Habits of a Happy Stay At Home Mom

“The days are long but the years are short.” No one knows this more so than a stay at home mother. Some days are so long that you feel like you’ve lived half your life before 9am. 

I’ve found that the key to thriving as a stay at home mom lies in cultivating your daily habits. After all, your habits are essentially the backbone of your life, right? While you may have the occasional outing and special event to attend; for those of us who have chosen to be fully responsible for our children’s upbringing, these events are typically few and far between! So, naturally, the greatest impact on your life will lie in your day to day habits. 

See also: Motherhood Essentials Guide: My Must Haves for Every Season of Motherhood

Today we’re going to chat about having a daily schedule (or daily routine for those who need a bit more flexibility), the importance of a consistent morning routine, how to take advantage of nap time or quiet time, and of course the ever important but equally elusive – alone time for you my dear.

Honestly, I have found in my 12+ years of being a mother that alone time is actually the secret to being the mother you truly strive to be. Without time for yourself, you will suffer; and in turn, those around you will suffer as well. Do not leave yourself out! You simply cannot pour from an empty cup.

More on that here! How to Prioritize Time for Yourself as a Stay At Home Mom

Daily Schedule or Rhythm

Having a general idea of how each day will flow is incredibly important when you’ve been given the freedom to live your life entirely on your own terms. When you no longer clock into a job or have a daily obligation outside of the home, you will be amazed at how quickly you lose track of time. I’ve been known to forget what day it is sometimes as they all begin to run together! That may sound like a nightmare to some or absolute freedom to others, depending on your personality and circumstances. 

I suggest having a general outline for each day to help the day flow in more of a rhythmic way.

Sample Schedule:

I also recommend having a specific daily to-do list with NO MORE than 3 things on it (see more about that below), a weekly chore chart focusing on different areas of the home for each day, and a monthly “get to it sometime” list to help keep you accountable. The last two are pretty self explanatory I think! The to-do list should have no more than 3 extra tasks for the day because honestly, any more than that and you will likely feel overwhelmed and unable to complete the list. Pick the three most important things to add to your already busy day and focus on those. If you complete them and have extra time to kill – take that opportunity to rest. I don’t expect this scenario to happen as often as you may imagine though! 

Everyday Habits to Establish

The simplest and most unassuming habits that you work into your day will truly make all the difference between a stay at home mom who thrives and one who is living in a constant state of overwhelm. If you feel like it’s impossible to get the most basic tasks done throughout the day; or like you simply don’t have enough time in the day – you could benefit from paying close attention to your habits and where your time is actually going. Especially if you find yourself scrolling social media constantly… it can be quite the time-suck. Not to mention, the addictiveness of social media and constant “buy this now, you need it in your life!” messages are not conducive to good mental health.

Get Yourself Dressed Every day

Notice I didn’t say “every morning”. I’ll admit that I sometimes do not have the time to tend to myself until the baby goes down for a nap, and that’s ok. That is the season of life that I’m in right now. However, getting myself dressed each and every day has become a priority in my life and is something that makes a huge difference in my productivity and confidence levels as a SAHM.

Tending to our children’s needs all day long, each and every single day is an olympic sport. It is not an easy job – in fact I would say it is one of the most mentally and physically taxing jobs one can have if it’s done well. Getting yourself dressed in something that makes you look and feel great each day makes an astonishing difference on your mindset when you are in the thick of motherhood.

See more on this here: The Art of Dressing Well: How To Do It (For You) and Why It Matters

You Set The Tone For Your Family – Do Not Neglect Yourself While Caring for Others

This one simple act of tending to yourself for just a few minutes each day will make a world of difference, I promise you! Think of it as along the same lines of making your bed each day. The simple act of doing so will make your whole day feel smoother – like you’ve already accomplished something first thing in the morning – your house is just a bit tidier, and your thoughts that much more organized because you took the 30 seconds to make your bed. Getting dressed will have the same affect on your mental health and productivity levels.

If you don’t already practice this daily habit – or your “dressed” is workout clothing or loungewear – give it a try for a week and see if you notice a difference in your life. Pick out 5-7 outfits that you love wearing and you know you feel good in (this could be just an easy to throw on sundress or your favorite jeans and a sweater, it does not have to be anything more!) I know you will notice the difference!

If you struggle with negative thoughts or need to generally improve your mindset in motherhood, see this post: Mindset of a Happy Stay-at-Home Mom: 8 Tips for Finding Contentment in Motherhood

Keeping a tidy home

Decluttering and establishing the habit of truly vetting the items that make their way into your home will help with this tremendously. If you need further assistance in this area, definitely check out my Guide to Decluttering! A few quick tips I live by to keep the mess from getting too out of control:

• make your bed every single day
• never leave a room empty handed. If there are cups on the table – grab them, building blocks in the hallway – pick them up right when you see them, dirty clothes in the doorway – put them in the nearest hamper. You get the idea. Always be tackling things as soon as you see them so the mess and clutter doesn’t have a chance to pile up. 
• utilize timers. The 10 minute tidy is a regular occurrence in our house. We like to tackle this one right after lunch and before we head out to run errands or play outside.
• have a place for everything! This is such timeless advice. If an item doesn’t have a home, evaluate if you really need that item. If you do – find it a designated home. If not, to the donation bin it goes! 
• If it will take less than a minute to complete – do it right then.

Quality Time with Your Kids

Of course, we all strive for this but it is really easier said than done sometimes. Especially if you’re not getting enough sleep with a new baby to care for or the season of life you’re in is a particularly difficult one for other reasons. This needs to be an intentional habit woven into each day. 

• leave your phone in another room while you are spending time with your children. This may be the most important thing to keep in mind as you go through your day. Creating the habit of placing your phone in it’s designated “home” (unless it’s your own personal time) is the very best way to give your sweet children the attentive mother they deserve. Turn the volume up so you can answer if an emergency call comes in – otherwise set it down and move about your day. DO NOT CARRY IT WITH YOU ALL DAY!
• have a list of activities both you and the kids enjoy to fall back on during the hard days. Something simple like coloring, building with Magnatiles, painting with watercolors, sidewalk chalk hop-scotch, etc.. 
• read as many books together as you can! 

See also: The Art of Intentional Homemaking and Living Slowly | Homemaking 101

Fresh Air every day

This habit will benefit you and you children exponentially!! Spending time outside has been proven to reduce stress, boost immune systems, increase concentration and is simply a great way to break up the day. So, how can you start to work this habit into your day? You could try “habit stacking” where you attach it to another activity you already do each day. For example, after a meal time – clean up, then head outdoors! A few more ideas are listed for you below to help get the juices flowing.

• After breakfast – get dressed and go spend some time outdoors. 
• Water the flowers (seasonal activity)
• go for a walk after each meal
• plant a garden
• go to the playground once a week, even if it’s cold out!
• hang a hammock and read a few books outside *bring blankets for snuggling in the winter!*

Self Care for Mom

MAKE THIS PRIORITY #1. Alone time for mothers is so unbelievably important but ESPECIALLY for SAHMs. Being constantly needed by our little people is a different kind of exhaustion. It’s one of those things that simply cannot be understood by someone until they’ve lived in those particular trenches.

To combat the utter exhaustion of constantly caring for others, you must make time for the things that feed your soul and make you feel alive. Do not put yourself on the backburner every single day – that will ultimately lead to burnout and resentment. Obviously, don’t be too frivolous or selfish with your time. A balance must be established and your babies should nearly always take precedence over other things. Align your schedule so that you can give to yourself without taking away from those who depend on you.

I saw a study recently comparing the stress levels of stay at home mothers with that of high ranking military officials. While there are obviously nuances to that general comparison – I believe there are some similarities too. After all, we are in charge of keeping people alive and our jobs are a 24/7 deal. Add in pregnancy or postpartum hormones and it may very well become the perfect storm of stress.

Regardless of the circumstances in your particular situation, everyone needs time for self care. You must prioritize the art of taking care of yourself so that you can put more energy into the care of those who need you.

See more here: Self Care for Mothers: A Realistic Guide for Moms

Your Morning Routine

This may be the most important part of the day for us stay-at-home parents. To begin your day in the right mindset will make all the difference in the tone of the entire 12-16 hour shift that lies ahead of you. Try to give yourself as much time as possible here but I understand if you prefer sleep over alone time. Just be sure to set aside at least 20 minutes before the kids wake up to acclimate and welcome the new day in a calm way. Starting each day being awoken by small children with their incessant demands at full speed will become tiring very quickly. 

If you’re a brand new mom or in the infant phase still, the above suggestions may not apply to you. Sleep is absolutely sacred those first few months so take it any way you can and give yourself as much grace as possible. You will need to lean on your husband more to get any alone time in this exhausting season and that is okay. Lean on him! You two are in this together and it’s a great opportunity for him to bond and gain confidence with your little ones. 

For more tips, check out this post! Simple Morning Routine Ideas for the Stay at Home Mom

Nap / Quiet Time

This is another sacred pocket of time that you should be focusing on self care to ensure you have time to rest and reset throughout the day. You should not be spending time doing household chores while the kids are resting! This is the time for you to sit down and take a deep breath as well – read a book, watch a YouTube video, catch up on emails, work on a personal project or tend to a fun hobby. Anything that’s life giving for you, personally, would be permissible here. You spend your entire day from sun up to sun down doing the hard work of caring for others entirely. You deserve this short break to tend to your mental health! 

Good Habits Will Change Your Life

Thriving as a stay at home mom is absolutely achievable! It’s all about creating and maintaining good habits that work for you and your family. Treat yourself well so that you can pay it forward and be the best mother and wife that your family deserves. Establish a daily schedule or rhythm that is achievable and will help keep you on track when your day seems to be flying right off the rails. Work on decluttering your home so that you can be more present with your kids and to free up the time normally spent caring for things instead of your people.

If you have a phone or scrolling addiction, it’s time to take a break from social media. Cold turkey. I doubt it is serving you in any way and once you take a step back from it, you will see the light and all of the precious moments you were missing before. The amount of time you can get back in your day is astounding when you remove those distractions.

Prioritize yourself. Never let your children feel their needs come second to technology. Get outside as often as possible. Read to your kids daily. Be more intentional with your time.

As old ‘Mando would say, “This is the Way”.

If you have any life altering habits that you swear by please share them with me, I would love to hear what’s working for you!

Olivia